this is vaguely how my brain works.

ex-genius: 24-year old Nicole Marty flipped off the cops in...

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 19:32:06 -0500

24-year old Nicole Marty flipped off the cops in her mugshot after crashing into a utility pole in Long Island.

WHERE ELSE COULD IT HAVE POSSIBLY BEEN

more

ANYWHERE ELSE EVER!!!

huskerdont: clintisiceman: delawareareyou: Minor Threat -...

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 19:30:37 -0500

huskerdont:

clintisiceman:

delawareareyou:

Minor Threat - Guilty of Being White

I’M SORRY

ONCE DROVE THROUGH HEMPSTEAD ON SOUTH STREET WITH ALL THE WINDOWS DOWN IN MY EX GIRLFRIEND’S CAR WHILE LISTENING TO THIS AS LOUD AS I COULD. I DIDN’T REALIZE UNTIL HALFWAY THROUGH HOW FUCKED I WAS IF I HAD TO STOP AT A LIGHT.

I HAVE AN AMERICAN FLAG BADGE ON MY SHIRT! WHAT THE FUCK DID < i >YOU< /i > EVER DO!?!?

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 19:29:00 -0500

aBOUT TO GO DRINK WHISKEY WITH MY FRIEND IN SOUTH PHILLY.

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 19:28:00 -0500

wAS GONNA WEAR SNAKESKIN PANTS BUT DIDN’T WANT TO GET STABBED FOR LOOKING SUPER GAY.

opmuh: (via ohwell-ohwell) this just made me think of...

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 19:26:42 -0500

opmuh:

(via ohwell-ohwell)

this just made me think of Johnwilkestooth and his snakeskin pants..

This made me think of what I’m gonna be doing alter tonight.

THAT WAS A TYPO BUT IT WORKS CAUSE IM GONNA BE GETTIN RAPED.

WHY DON'T I HAVE MY OWN SATELLITE RADIO SHOW ON SIRIUS/XM YET!??!

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 19:07:00 -0500

rutherfordghayes (7:01:35 PM): dude
rutherfordghayes (7:01:38 PM): if you saw me right now
rutherfordghayes (7:01:39 PM): i'd be like
rutherfordghayes (7:01:42 PM): knock knock on your door
rutherfordghayes (7:01:44 PM): and you'd be like
rutherfordghayes (7:02:11 PM): oh hey i wonder who it is i bet it's that jake day character BECAUSE I AM SOMETIMES THOUGHT OF MORE OF AS A CHARACTER THAN A HUMAN BEING since he said he was coming over
rutherfordghayes (7:02:14 PM): then you open the door
rutherfordghayes (7:02:15 PM): then
rutherfordghayes (7:02:16 PM): me
rutherfordghayes (7:02:18 PM): STANDING THERE
rutherfordghayes (7:02:20 PM): steel toe boots
rutherfordghayes (7:02:23 PM): snakeskin pants
rutherfordghayes (7:02:28 PM): boyscout shirt
rutherfordghayes (7:02:37 PM): NASA baseball hat WITH ADJUSTABLE BACK STRAP
rutherfordghayes (7:02:44 PM): BULLET. RING.
rutherfordghayes (7:02:55 PM): I'm pretty sure it'd be over right there
rutherfordghayes (7:03:04 PM): DON'T BE AFRAID, THERESA
rutherfordghayes (7:03:07 PM): it would happen to anyone
rutherfordghayes (7:03:10 PM): male OR fe-male
Girl (7:03:22 PM): haha prooobably
rutherfordghayes (7:03:35 PM): but mostlty
rutherfordghayes (7:03:37 PM): to everyone
rutherfordghayes (7:03:40 PM): probably actually more to du8des
rutherfordghayes (7:03:47 PM): BUT IT'D TOTALLY HAPPEN TO HOT CHICKS TOO COME ON
rutherfordghayes (7:03:51 PM): i'm....i'm not gay
rutherfordghayes (7:03:52 PM): hahaha
rutherfordghayes (7:04:02 PM): yeah
Girl (7:04:04 PM): i mean
Girl (7:04:10 PM): snakeskin pants!
rutherfordghayes (7:04:24 PM): BEER SLIDES OFF OF THEM
rutherfordghayes (7:04:26 PM): KNOW WHY?
rutherfordghayes (7:04:27 PM): SNAKESKIN!
rutherfordghayes (7:04:30 PM): MADE OF DEAD SNAKES!
rutherfordghayes (7:04:50 PM): IF THEY WERE LIVE SNAKES IT WOULDN'T WORK AS WELL BECAUSE HOW COULD I WEAR LIVE SNAKES THAT'S JUST DUMB!
rutherfordghayes (7:05:37 PM): just wearing them makes me feel like more of a man. someone killed a shitload of little animals to make em and probably njust threw away every other part of the animal. that's so fucking hardcore. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.
rutherfordghayes (7:05:39 PM): DO I KNOW!?
rutherfordghayes (7:05:40 PM): NO!
rutherfordghayes (7:05:41 PM): BUT
rutherfordghayes (7:05:43 PM): FUCK!
rutherfordghayes (7:05:50 PM): snakeskin pants are SWEET.

My dad just gave me $20 and a 26 of coconut rum.

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 18:44:52 -0500

pussycrippler:

Because apparently he got both as a tip and he doesn’t take tips.

Well, I know what I’m doing tonight.

Buyin a 20 sack and gettin drunk!?

SNAKESKIN PANTS AND A BOYSCOUT SHIRT!

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 18:37:53 -0500

castratingcutie:

johnwilkestooth

I AM SO BONEABLE RIGHT NOW IT’S RIDICULOUS!!!

I am reverse pedophiling you so hard.

AND WHISKEY!!!!!!! C OME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WOULD GO WALK AROUND OUTSIDE AND FUCK WITH PEOPLE BUT I LOOK PRETTY FUCKING GAY AND DONT WANT TO GET SHOT.

SNAKESKIN PANTS AND A BOYSCOUT SHIRT!

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 18:33:52 -0500

I AM SO BONEABLE RIGHT NOW IT’S RIDICULOUS!!!

FUCK you "NEW YORK" and your faggy "PIZZA." Philly Cheesesteaks are the greatest food known to mankind SO FUCK OFF AND SUCK A DICK BECAUSE GAAHHHH PIZZA TOTALLY BLOWS AND IS TOTALLY LAME COMPARED TO HOW SWEET CHEESESTEAKS ARE.

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 18:30:53 -0500

triphop:

(via johnwilkestooth)

2 WORDS:

MARYLAND
CRABCAKES

ONE WORD AND A CONTRACTION.

YOU’RE

WRONG

ex-genius: kurttastic: abbibaker: ex-genius: Gunshot...

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 18:30:22 -0500

ex-genius:

kurttastic:

abbibaker:

ex-genius:

Gunshot Wounds:

Not covered by your manufacturer’s warranty.

how does that even happen.

It looks like it was shot with the lid closed. Maybe they used it as a shield. Looks successful too haha.

There’s a story on engadget that states that the Israeli border police did this to this girl’s laptop because they didn’t like her answers to their questions.

Fucking JEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jews run the world etc etc.

I'm being suffocated by the fatty angst.

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 18:29:48 -0500

doomriver:

elengberg:

(via doomriver)

I’m being suffocated by the bony ignorance that is your existence. Go smoke more pot, and self medicate.

OHHHH GO SMOKE MORE POT! hahaha nice try.

NICE TRY CAUSE YOU CAN”T SMOKE MORE THAN ALL THE TIME NICE TRY DUMMY HEY HI FIVE! WAIT! HIGH FIVE. GET IT!?

I wish I could fit into my snakeskin pants.

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 18:27:06 -0500

DAMNIT!

Unless I can convince a girl to cut my hair tonight I might for the first time in pretty much ever pay someone to cut my hair.

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 18:23:44 -0500

FUCK.

rutherfordghayes: ok fuck this whiskey and scissors time!

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 18:13:45 -0500

rutherfordghayes (6:13:36 PM): ok fuck this whiskey and scissors time!

FUCK you "NEW YORK" and your faggy "PIZZA." Philly Cheesesteaks are the greatest food known to mankind SO FUCK OFF AND SUCK A DICK BECAUSE GAAHHHH PIZZA TOTALLY BLOWS AND IS TOTALLY LAME COMPARED TO HOW SWEET CHEESESTEAKS ARE.

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 18:10:41 -0500

WHY YOU SHOULD ALWAYS TALK TO ME BECAUSE THINGS LIKE THIS MIGHT HAPPEN:

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 18:08:26 -0500

rutherfordghayes (5:58:32 PM): lemme know
rutherfordghayes (5:58:34 PM): when you're finished
rutherfordghayes (5:58:35 PM): also
rutherfordghayes (5:58:38 PM): you may be too sick
rutherfordghayes (5:58:41 PM): i may be too drunk?
rutherfordghayes (5:58:48 PM): RACE FOR THE PRIZE (REMIX)
rutherfordghayes (5:59:00 PM): just, you know, don't go WAITIN FOR SUPERMAN too long
rutherfordghayes (5:59:15 PM): because THIS HERE GIRAFFE might not be able to make it
Girl (5:59:16 PM): yeah if so we can like play left 4 dead or something i don't know
rutherfordghayes (5:59:36 PM): yeah, but i hope i'm good because if not EVIL WILL PREVAIL
rutherfordghayes (5:59:52 PM): and if not we can always watch a GODZILLA FLICK
Girl (6:00:04 PM): ha alright
rutherfordghayes (6:01:01 PM): and if not we could always make it RAIN(ING) BABIES
rutherfordghayes (6:01:14 PM): make the babies fall so hard that THE CEILING IS BENDIN
Girl (6:01:23 PM): hahaha
rutherfordghayes (6:01:27 PM): and no matter how much you hate finals you should always LOVE YER BRAIN
rutherfordghayes (6:01:39 PM): even if you start FEELING YOURSELF DISINTEGRATE
Girl (6:01:48 PM): noooo
rutherfordghayes (6:02:08 PM): as a result of your SLOW NERVE ACTION
rutherfordghayes (6:02:27 PM): but somtimes all i want to do is be RIDING TO WORK IN THE YEAR 2025
rutherfordghayes (6:02:37 PM): you know, just CHEWIN THE APPLE OF YOUR EYE
rutherfordghayes (6:03:52 PM): because when i'm WITH YOU i feel like maybe there might be a KILLER ON THE RADIO on MY OWN PLANET and the only thing i can think of doing with you is just TALKIN BOUT THE SMILING DEATHPORN IMMORTALITY BLUES and how i wish you'd HIT ME LIKE YOU DID THE FIRST TIME we met
rutherfordghayes (6:04:36 PM): then my friends will tell me that SHE IS DEATH and really EVERYTHING'S EXPLODIN in my life and my time on earth is really just ONE MILLION BILLIONTH OF A MILLISECOND ON A SUNDAY MORNING
rutherfordghayes (6:04:53 PM): and that no matter how sad i get you CAN'T STOP THE SPRING
rutherfordghayes (6:06:28 PM): then when finally you STAND IN LINE to get a shot from KIM'S WATERMELON GUN for your CHROME PLATED SUICIDE you can take a ride in that GOLDEN HEARSE and really
rutherfordghayes (6:06:30 PM): finally
rutherfordghayes (6:06:37 PM): you'll feel like JESUS SHOOTIN HEROIN
rutherfordghayes (6:06:42 PM): OH MY GOD THAT WAS SO FUCKING EPICCCCCCCCCCCCCC

FLAMING LIPS!!!!

suesylvester-: im watching inglorious basterds. and theres subtitles wtf i wish i knew...

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 17:56:52 -0500

suesylvester-:

im watching inglorious basterds.

and theres subtitles

wtf

i wish i knew french

DUDE! Woah! Be fucking hardcore and turn off the subtitles. So like. It’s like real life. HAVE NO IDEA.

BLOOD TYPE A, BLOOD TYPE B, DOESN'T MATTER CAUSE HIS BLOODS ON ME!!!

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 17:49:17 -0500

dogganghappened: PHILLY!!!! Yeah, whattup?

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 17:43:09 -0500

dogganghappened:

PHILLY!!!!

Yeah, whattup?